I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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