Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
