respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
