take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
