I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
