clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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