im about as happy as oj after his trial
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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