And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Randomize
