i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Enjoy the penises
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
