And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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