Midget sex pt 2 tonight
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
