Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
they're like a gay fantastic four
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
