Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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