Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize