I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
