I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
