dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
