I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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