didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
