just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
