IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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