Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
