Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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