My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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