Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
