I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
