Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize