I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
