So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
