I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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