Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
