blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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