A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
