I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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