We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
