I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
