I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
