do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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