It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
