hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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