So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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