at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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