What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
