How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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