hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
