Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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