You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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