Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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