Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
