Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
