So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
