im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We left the knife in your bed.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
