Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
