I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
