Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
