I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
