I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Two words: blizzard sex
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
