While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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