i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Small penises have feelings too.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Text me some of your sweat
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
