Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
