was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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