if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
