census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
