quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
