And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
