I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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