But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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