Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
