she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
