you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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