white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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