unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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