No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
