I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
