the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
why do cheetos always look like penises
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
