Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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