dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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