Kiss
Puke
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
