i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
