Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
